


Harley Quinn's (Marvel)ous Adventure!

by orphan_account



Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Spider-Man (Ultimateverse), The Mask (1994)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 18:55:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An encounter with a speedster dead set on resetting the timeline and stopping his parents' death leaves Harley Quinn back in Brooklyn. That wouldn't be so bad, except she's trapped in another universe! Well, this isn't exactly how she imagined leaving the Joker and rebuilding her life, but who can complain, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This Harley is supposed to be classic Harley from Batman The Animated Series (BTAS) and is based more on the cartoons and video games than the comics.**

**Disclaimer: These characters belong to DC, Marvel, Warner Brothers, Disney, and Dark Horse. I don't own these characters, but sometimes I wish I did!**

 

Dr. Harleen Quinzel looked at her watch. 

_12:00...I have an hour before I see more patients._

Discreetly, she pulled out a little black book and began reading over its contents. 

_Wow, you wouldn't believe what happened to me today. It was like any other day, but then the world kinda turned to liquid. Then, everything slowed down to a grinding halt. I saw the Flash; yeah, that's right, the Flash. He ran right past me, like he was in a huge hurry to get somewhere, passed right through the wall. That woulda been weird enough, but, as my luck would have it, that was only the beginning. Things got really slow. It was like I was in a slow motion movie or something. I tried to convince myself everything was normal, so I decided to try ta clean up. That's when I noticed the closet door was open, but it was really dark inside, so I walked in to find a light switch, but..nothing...nothing but a black hole, and I fell through it!_

_That's right. I fell through a black hole in my closet! Let me repeat that...a black hole in my closet!_

_I'm neva gonna be able ta explain this to B-man; there's no way he'd believe me. He already thinks I'm crazy as is!_

_When I got back from my "trip," I found myself in a dumpster with this guy on screen screaming..._

As Harley continued to read the contents of the diary, she began to have a flashback. It was all like it happened yesterday. 

Harley pulled herself out of the dumpster and took a banana peel off of her head. 

"Spiderman is a menace!" the screen of a huge jumbo-tron shouted.   

"What?" Harley asked. 

As if the machine knew she was talking, it replied, "Spiderman is a reckless vigilante who should be behind bars!" 

Harley began thinking, "Spiderman...Spiderman...where do I remember that name from?" 

Realization dawned on her and it began to set in how weird this all was. Spiderman was a superhero from another dimension--there were comic books about him in her universe! 

Shocked, Harley dove back into the dumpster. She then lost her footing and rolled out and on to the hard concrete. 

She dusted herself off and hid in a nearby alley. 

"I could say this is weird, but that would be an understatement," Harley declared to no one in particular. 

Once she regained her composure, and pulled out another outfit from her travel bag, she decided to come out of the ally. 

She took a deep breath and decided to ask a random kid where she was. 

"Oh, you're in New York," the kid replied cheerfully. He had red hair and looked a little scrawny. Harley thought she remembered him from somewhere, but she would have to sort that all out later. 

Harley gave a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't in outer space or in some weird city whose name she didn't recognize. New York was familiar. They had a New York in her universe, too. She decided to take the first train to Brooklyn, getting help from a random stranger kind enough to scan his bus pass. Maybe she'd get lucky and find familiar territory. 

A loud bleep of Harley's watch sounded, drawing her out of her flashback. There was a knock at the door. It was time to see another patient. 

"...and I have this huge problem, Dr. Quinzel, because I'm scared to death of spiders, and so I'm also afraid of Spiderma..." 

"Let me stop you right there. Spiderman isn't a spider, so you shouldn't be afraid of him," Harley said. 

"I...I wish it were that easy..." 

Harleen continued to listen as the boy explained his fear of spiders and the man who dressed like one. 

She looked at her watch. 

  _5:00...time to go home._

 "Okay, wow, I tell you what...at our next session, I'm gonna bring you a spider, a little harmless one, and we'll go from there..." Harley said trying to hold back a yawn. She made a few notes on her pad and tried to look concerned. 

 _Yeesh, all of these people afraid a nothing; they should see what I had ta deal with when I worked with B-man._ She smiled a little at the thought. 

The little boy hopped off of the therapist's couch and into the lobby. Harley walked to the door to watch before turning back to her office and filing away her notes for her next sessions. She then picked up her little black diary. 

_Oh well, I guess I can just pick up where I left off. It's nice ta be able ta take a trip down memory lane..._

_Where was I...oh yeah...speaking a B-man..._

Harley dreamily returned to her flashback. 

Once Harley got to Brooklyn, things got a little better. A lot of the major places were familiar, and she was able to convince someone to put her up for the night. 

She lay down on the couch with a sigh. 

_You know, it's times like these I wish I could get in touch with B-man._

"Harley!" 

"Wow, I must have a really good imagination," Harley whispered. 

"Come in, Harley!" 

"Wait a minute..." Harley said in low voice. 

"Harley!" 

Harley reached behind her ear to find a communication device; she blushed with embarrassment like someone was watching. 

"Oh, I forgot about that!" Harley said to herself. 

"Oh forget it, Bats, she's not picking up," 

"Oh hi-ya B-man, Nightwig," Harley said. 

"It's Night-Wing!" 

"Harley, where are you? We've lost track of your location," Batman said. 

"You were tracking me?" Harley said in mock frustration. 

"Don't act like you're surprised," Nightwing said. 

"You're supposed to be at your apartment this time of night," Batman said. 

"Don't make us put you back on house arrest," Nightwing added. 

"Well, see, a funny thing happened..." Harley said. 

Harley finished explaining her story. There was silence on the other end when she was finished. 

"Hello, B-man; did I lose you?" Harley asked.

"No, I'm still here. Stay there,"

"Kinda don't have a choice,"  

"Another dimension? Please tell me this is some kind of joke," Nightwing said.

"It makes sense, really. It explains why the tracker lost her location," Batman said matter-of-factly.

Harley smiled, imagining Bruce keeping a stoic posture and straight face while Dick probably wore a look of alarm or confusion. She knew them well enough from when they used to be enemies, after all. She let out a little giggle at the image in her head. 

"What was that for?" Batman's stern suspicious voice asked. 

"Oh come on, lighten up, B-man, it's funny; this could only happen ta me, after all," Harley said.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you knew all of the work it was going to take to get you back home," Nightwing said. 

"I'll work on the calibration; Harley, stay put for now," Batman said. 

"Okay, B-man," Harley said. 

With that, the communication link went dead, no dial tone. She didn't really know if they were still listening or not. Carefully, she plucked it from its resting place behind her ear and put it in her purse. Then, she went back to the couch, grabbed a pillow and tried to go to sleep. 

_Seriously, where does he think I'm goin? It's not like I have a Deloreon parked out back or anything._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

The sound of the lights being shut off drew her back out of her flashback.

She closed her diary, packed her purse, closed her office door, and walked outside.

New York was always really busy. Neon lights from businesses that never closed blinked on and off. Taxis honked their horns, fighting the various bits of traffic. The cold wind blew against her skin and she shivered. It was really a lot like Gotham. Too much like Gotham.

She thought about hailing a taxi but decided to take the bus this time.

Harley sat at the bus stop with both eyes open. She knew it was dangerous. Part of her wanted to experience danger again. Life had been so dull since she was transferred here.

She saw headlights. It was the bus, right on schedule.

Her hand lazily drifted toward her face to block another yawn. No excitement tonight it seemed.

She paid her fare and boarded the bus. It was empty except for the red headed kid she saw earlier. 

_I know that kid from somewhere, but I can't remember where._

She sat back in her seat and pressed her fingers against her temples. She remembered seeing him the first time she came here, but what was the significance? This kid was someone special--maybe...oh it just wasn't coming to her.  

Suddenly, she heard the sound of glass breaking, an inhuman screeching sound echoed through the bus. She soon found herself and the kid sprayed with blood; she looked over in shock. There was some red monster thing attacking by turning pieces of itself into sharp projectiles and cutting its victim. The bus driver had already been cut to bits, evidenced by the arms, legs, and head being thrown into the middle of the walkway. 

Harley made a disgusted face. She then lurched backward by the creature's sudden advance. It was going for the boy. She covered her eyes in a panic before remembering all of the training Batman and Nightwing gave her. She reached in her purse and waited to make her move. 

The monster grabbed the boy in its tendrils. 

"So...we meet again, Parker!" the monster screamed. 

The boy winced and struggled. 

Harley leaped from her seat and tapped the monster on the shoulder. 

It turned to her, set the boy down, and grabbed her. 

"What is it?" it growled 

It twisted its tendrils around her, but she didn't even flinch. Instead she held a stern serious face like she this every day. 

"I was just wondering if you wanted to hear a joke," Harley said sweetly while holding the can behind her back. 

"Lady, believe me, this is not the time!" the kid yelled. 

"Quiet junior; just stand back," Harley said to the red haired boy. 

While the monster was distracted, Harley sprayed the contents of the can right into its face. In minutes, the monster was doubled over laughing. Harley gently pulled herself from its grasp and stood over it in triumph. 

"How rude, you didn't even wait for me to get to the punchline!" Harley said.  

Peter looked at Carnage with shock and confusion. 

"What did you...do?" Parker asked. 

"Trade secret," Harley quipped. 

The monster continued to laugh and convulse. The red coating over its body receded to reveal a red haired man. 

Harley continued to regard the boy; the boy kept his eyes trained on the man who had once been that creature. 

She walked up to the man who was still laughing like a lunatic and grabbed him by the collar. 

"Start talking!" Harley demanded. 

He opened his mouth and let out a loud demented laugh. That won him a bashing against the wall of the bus. 

"I said talk!" Harley growled. She then pulled a needle out of her purse. 

The man continued laughing. 

"One stick, that's all it takes, then, night-night," Harley threatened in a low growl. The man started shaking and sweating. She thought he was going to wet his little pants. It made her feel so powerful. She almost forgot how it felt to be the apex predator. Her mouth started to water as she continued the process. She looked at the now helpless man hungrily.  

"Who are you?" she demanded. 

"K...Kletus...Kletus Cassidy..." the man stated shakily. 

"...and Mr. Cassidy, what possessed you to try ta make mince meat outta this bus driver and this kid?" Harley hissed. She was holding the needle extremely close. 

The man shook in her hands and screamed. His diaphragm still convulsed with spasms that would have been uncontrollable laughter. 

"Didn't anybody teach youse that ain't nice?" Harley growled. 

As she held the man, she noticed something that looked like a spider's web forming around him. 

She looked up to see a guy in tights and a full-body costume hanging from the ceiling. 

"I'll...take it from here..." Spiderman said cautiously. 

"He's all yours," Harley said, throwing the man to him like an old sack of refuse. 

Kletus grabbed Spidey by the waist and shivered. 

"Keep her away from me; she's a mad woman, I tell you!" 

She straightened her glasses, looked straight at Cassidy, and flashed a Cheshire cat grin. 

"Well, I guess this is my stop," she said before exiting the bus and walking out into the night. 

Spiderman simply looked at the young woman in bewilderment.  

As she stepped off the bus, her eyes sparkled with realization. 

_Now I remember that kid! Peter Parker--Spiderman! Why would I ever forget something that important?_

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
